My stomach hurts. My chest keeps getting tight. I feel like I want to hyperventilate. I just might even cry.
These episodes are starting to happen more frequently these days. They happen in the quiet moments - when I'm driving in the car, dusting a dresser or taking a bath. You see, in these moments I have just enough time to remember that bar results are due next week. By next Friday (May 1st is the official due date, although exam results can be released early) I will know whether or not I can close one more chapter in the story of my life, or if I will have to abandon my family and life as I know it to prepare for another bar exam.
I remember this feeling and I knew it was coming - I experienced it while waiting for my California bar results way back in 2002. It's an awful feeling because you spend more time focusing on the chances of failing than you do passing. You start remembering all the mistakes you made on the test - it's hard to remember the things you actually did right.
I will keep you posted - please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I need them right now!